I started this post at the end of February! It’s taken a while.
I wanted to share something with you. Something monumental. I have been out of the house on my own! Not out of the house and in the garden. Not out of the house and in the car. But out of the house and OUTSIDE. Amongst the normal people. I’ve managed it few times now. Leaving the house, driving for a couple of minutes, parking, getting out and sitting in the fresh air in the big, wide world.
I’ve already posted about my few trips to the Post Office (the last of which I haven’t shared yet because it was a bit too overwhelming.) But the outings I’m talking about in this post were different. They were relaxing. I didn’t have to perform at task like posting a letter. I could just try to relax and enjoy my freedom.
On the first of these outings (a few months ago) I wrapped up warm and shuffled out of the car, still in my slippers to sat by the River Wellend for no more than two minutes. It’s a two minute drive from home. I’m very lucky to live so near to the river.
Today I did it again but at a different part of the river. I’ve been desperate to get there for weeks to see the ducklings and today I finally did it. Sad I know but these are the goals I make these days. They fit my ‘new life’ much better.
It’s now the cognitive side of things that hold me back most with regards to driving. My arms and legs are still weak but they’re stronger than there were when I had to stop driving back in October 2010.
Today I was less foggy and able to safely drive to the river and then back again.
There was hardly anyone about and I sat for a minute or two on a bench just happy to have a few minutes in the big wide world. As a bonus there were a couple of super-fluffy cygnets. I couldn’t have walked the 70 odd metres to the other part of the river so I drove across the car park to where I guessed the ducklings would be.
I was home safe and sound within 10 minutes. My few minutes of freedom for a while.
I always take my phone but I’ve only once had to ring home during a drive because I’d suddenly started feeling more unwell. I sometimes stop and rest somewhere if I’m driving a ten minute journey but I rarely get out of the car like I did today. With Summer (hopefully) on its way maybe short drives with a few minutes of fresh air thrown in are the way forward. Especially as I’m not sure I can manage drives longer than five minutes just now.
I must remind myself that at one time doing something like this was unimaginable. It was so out of reach I couldn’t even dream about it. Even yesterday I couldn’t have done it.