Note to my past self,
Your health doesn’t return, but that aside you will have everything you ever dreamed of.
Health does not equal happiness; the life that you get to lead in spite of ill-health does.
I used to refer to this time of my life as ‘The M.E. Years’. But I realised that that was disregarding all of the other things that were happening.
Yes M.E. dominates every single day, but to write off the only life I was ever going to have seemed wrong after the first several years of illness. I came to see that putting my life on hold until my health returned was a complete waste. Yes I still want to get better, but I must also acknowledge that I might not.
So to the Anna of 2010-2015, you get to live the life you didn’t even dare to dream of.
There is little that good health can add some days, because the heightened gratitude I have developed makes me feel like I’m already the luckiest girl in the world.
(Side note: I felt this way even before I hit the jackpot and met Mr Tree Surgeon, but/so having him in my life enhanced these feelings even more. It improved even more this week when I discovered decent gluten free chocolate fingers!!!)
IMAGE: A fire is lit in the wood burner. A multicoloured footstool is in front of it with a mug, jug, and cafetière on a tray.
This post was written for social media in December 2020.