10pm tonight marks 34 years since I was born.
Birthdays can be complex old things when you’re chronically ill. There aren’t enough hours in the day to expand of that comprehensively.
When you feel like your life froze somewhat when you became unwell, the passing of time is a strange thing. I still very much feel like that 21 year old who had to readjust so fast to such dramatic changes. It is incredulous that today I turn 34 when I have no memory of turning 22; so unwell I was that it came and went without my involvement in it.
But ultimately, this birthday, I feel grateful to be having it; others with my diagnosis haven’t made it to 34, and even more of them aren’t well enough to mark their birthdays.
I’m grateful for the place I’m at in life, in spite of and even because of my very dodgy health. And I will strive to savour the good fortune I’ve got because I know that life can change in a split second.
Today has been so full of love and loveliness that it’s bound to help keep me afloat during my 35th spin around the sun.