One hour at a time

Trying hard to treat myself the way I would treat one of my Poorly Pals if they were struggling a little more than usual.

So I’m going hour by hour here at the moment and acknowledging all that I’ve been trying to process this year, in my now-very-overwhelmed little head.

• Being without Delores, and Juanita too

• Adenomyosis and the absolutely crippling pain and life-altering symptoms that has come with it

• The hysterectomy rejection. I know I can try again at a later date but it’s been a lot to process

• Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) – not “Bad PMS” for me in the slightest, but a complete detachment from Self

• The mirena coil 👿 I have an appointment with my Gynaecologist coming up where I’ll need to decide which is the lesser of two evils; coil or no coil

• Babies being born and pregnancies all around me

• Trying to comprehend how a little tea party idea has now raised £70,000 (some of the overwhelm is for nice reasons!)

• Daily life with ME/CFS and the absolute minefield that that is

• A much lower baseline/level of function that I’d like for myself

And you know what? Even if I was struggling without all of these things going on, then I’d still be struggling…and that’s life sometimes. It isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and making yourself feel grateful that things aren’t worse.

So it’s making it up as I go along here; adjusting hour by hour and being gentle enough with myself to just let that be for now.

IMAGE: A mug of decaf coffee next to a little book with the title “the little book of resilience”