'M.E. myself and I' by Anna Redshaw

It can come out of nowhere. And even though the effect isn’t quite as dramatic or devastating as it once was, it’s still very much there.

I suppose you could say I chose my health over a family of my own. I don’t consider it to have been much of a choice, but I suppose it was; a choice that others facing childlessness did not get. It was a decision based on circumstances that are beyond my control.

And because I had that choice, reaching a conclusion that so few understand, my childlessness often feels like it’s Less than other people’s childlessness*.

For all my husband and I know, we could physically have children. So many others with my health condition have become parents. But I reached a different conclusion to them. I know without any doubt that this is the right thing for us. My M.E. effects my life is such all-consuming ways.

*OF VITAL IMPORTANCE: I am under no illusion that other reasons for being childless are life-altering and devastating. I am not in any way attempting to compete or start a competition. I am merely being brutally honest about my own experience, which is that of being childless as a result of the impact long-term illness has on my life. I have access to a counsellor who is keeping me grounded whilst allowing me to offload about how unfair my situation may feel.

DISCLAIMER:
I have decided to share my experience because I haven’t come across anyone in the same boat who is sharing publicly and I hope it makes me and others feel less alone.
My posts on this topic may be muddled, sporadic and messy. That’s still how my head is on this.
This is a very sensitive topic for me, and for many others. I won’t accept any unsolicited advice on this topic at all. Insensitive comments will be deleted & accounts will be blocked.

When leaving comments, please be mindful that others with my particular chronic illness have reached a different conclusion and have gone on to be exceptional parents to some of the most caring, empathetic and wonderful children I have ever met.
There is no right or wrong. Please be careful when making blanket statements about your own views on parenting with M.E.