It can come out of nowhere. And even though the effect isn’t quite as dramatic or devastating as it once was, it’s still very much there.
I suppose you could say I chose my health over a family of my own. I don’t consider it to have been much of a choice, but I suppose it was; a choice that others facing childlessness did not get. It was a decision based on circumstances that are beyond my control.
And because I had that choice, reaching a conclusion that so few understand, my childlessness often feels like it’s Less than other people’s childlessness*.
For all my husband and I know, we could physically have children. So many others with my health condition have become parents. But I reached a different conclusion to them. I know without any doubt that this is the right thing for us. My M.E. effects my life is such all-consuming ways.
*OF VITAL IMPORTANCE: I am under no illusion that other reasons for being childless are life-altering and devastating. I am not in any way attempting to compete or start a competition. I am merely being brutally honest about my own experience, which is that of being childless as a result of the impact long-term illness has on my life. I have access to a counsellor who is keeping me grounded whilst allowing me to offload about how unfair my situation may feel.
DISCLAIMER:
I have decided to share my experience because I haven’t come across anyone in the same boat who is sharing publicly and I hope it makes me and others feel less alone.
My posts on this topic may be muddled, sporadic and messy. That’s still how my head is on this.
This is a very sensitive topic for me, and for many others. I won’t accept any unsolicited advice on this topic at all. Insensitive comments will be deleted & accounts will be blocked.
When leaving comments, please be mindful that others with my particular chronic illness have reached a different conclusion and have gone on to be exceptional parents to some of the most caring, empathetic and wonderful children I have ever met.
There is no right or wrong. Please be careful when making blanket statements about your own views on parenting with M.E.
M.E. myself and I 
Just come across this- thank you for being so open. It’s something that I have recently had to confront too- my (younger) sister is expecting her first (twins!) and I’ve experienced many conflicting emotions- grief, guilt, excitement, helplessness… thank you for sharing and helping me to feel less alone
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