About four years ago I came to the realisation that I would not be a parent.
There has been immense joy and incredible sadness as those around me have children of their own while I do not, and will not.
I have no known fertility issues. This conclusion was reached solely because of the impact my chronic health condition has on my life. Others with the same chronic illness have reached different conclusions within their own set of circumstances. There is no right or wrong.
After a year of counselling to help with this topic, I’m starting to be able to open up about it, but on my terms.
So it’s something that I’m going to discuss more from now on, from time to time. I need to talk about it. Until I started mentioning it, I had not come across anyone else who was in the same boat as me; childless through chronic illness.
While I’m going to start talking about it more, it’s still a very delicate subject.
It’s hard for those around me too, as they then feel cautious about sharing the most monumental and amazing journeys of their lives. Please know that your joy does not cause my pain. Please don’t let my pain diminish your joy. I can be happy for you but sad for myself at the same time; something I hadn’t realised initially.
While support and sympathy and assurances that I’m not alone are welcome, unsolicited advice is not tolerated on this topic. By that I mean, please don’t contact me asking if I’ve considered adoption or surrogacy or to tell me to not give up hope yet. I absolutely cannot stomach such comments.