I sometimes think this illness is harder to deal with the better you get. For me anyway. Does that make sense? Basically, in the beginning I was so incredibly poorly that I wasn’t fully aware of the extent of the illness. Now that I am a little better, or now that the ‘brain fog’ is much improved, I can see things more clearly and am more aware of how poorly I am. I am more aware of the effect this condition has had on those I love the most. I am more aware of the misunderstanding and the stigma that comes with such a condition.
People say I’m brave. I’m not brave. I’m just getting on with it. This is it. This is my life. I’m not going to lie around feeling sorry for myself and blaming the world for my poor health. These things happen. Good health is sadly not a given. There are days when I feel I can’t do it anymore but as my wonderful mum said to me once “Tough. You haven’t got a choice.” As always, she’s right. So I have a good cry, brush myself off and pick myself back again. Every single time, I get back up again.
My blog is ultimately to help people understand M.E. But it’s also for me. Throughout my illness I’ve written things down to get them out of my system and so that I don’t forget and so that one day, hopefully, I can look back and see how far I’ve come since the end of 2010. I eventually thought, why not share it? So, lucky for you, I did 😉