A sight for sore eyes

Like a small child dressing themselves I now tend to wear what I want when I want. You might see a toddler in a supermarket wearing fancy dress. I haven’t quite taken it that far…yet. According to my family and friends my dress sense has always been questionable but things are more unusual than ever since I became ill. I now don’t see the point in saving things for ‘best’ or for my days out. If I want to wear a nice dress around the house, I will wear a nice dress around the house. Being so poorly and with such a complicated illness means I don’t get out much. If I saved all my nice clothes and favourite outfits for the big wide world they may never get worn. What a waste! Who cares if they don’t match! It’s not like I’m going anywhere…usually. Jewellery can be uncomfortable for me now and my arms don’t feel strong enough to fiddle around putting a necklace on, but on my better days I can be found with a ring on nearly every finger to make up for the all the days I was unable to wear them. Think Phoebe from Friends…

There were times when I had to be dressed by my mum or my sister. It makes me a bit sad to think about it. Thankfully these days I only tend to need people to help me do my laces up sometimes. Laces can be a bugger! All that bending your legs, crouching, leaning forward, putting your head down, stretching your arms, using your fingers…I’d be in a heap before I’d even stepped out of the door!

I usually resemble a mismatched mess with uncoordinated ensembles. I use what little energy I have putting the clothes on, rather than worrying if an outfit ‘goes’. But like Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” Take me as I am, or not at all. Illness has changed me. I am too poorly to faff around with make up. On the days I might manage to put it on, the exertion will inevitably make me too poorly to take it off. Sometimes I paint my nails for that added bit of glamour. Ha! I have to be careful though as M.E. has made me intolerable to many smells and nail varnish is one of them.

Comfort, now, is paramount. I can’t quite describe it but I feel too out-of-sorts to be dressed in anything uncomfy. Leggings are a must and for the days when I don’t have enough energy to put them on, jogging bottoms it is. I always try to get changed out of my pjs in the attempt to remind my brain that daytime is not for sleeping. This is just not possibly sometimes though and few things are now more exciting than a new pair of snazzy pjs!

Layers, too, are essential. I can’t always regulate or control my own temperature because of my broken brain. Because of this I ‘layer it up’ starting with a vest (yes like we had when we were children.) Cardigans are better than jumpers. They seem to not take as much energy in putting them on and they’re easier for people to help me out of if I am hit by a sudden heat wave and need to cool down NOW.

So if you see a twenty-something woman shuffling around looking worse for wear in the most unusual of outfits, it may well be me!