Just thinking about how I’m (usually) now at my poorliest after doing something, rather than being at my poorliest for no other reason than being chronically ill. And how, although far from ideal, it’s actually a more-favourable place to be.
Make no mistake, I am ill every day at a level that most people would find to be really quite horrific, but some days I can function within my own restrictions.
It makes me think about how ‘lucky’ I am to get the loveliness before the fallout; getting to experience a couple of hours during the week, for example, where I can leave the house. That hasn’t always been the case, and it could well be taken from me again at some point.
On this particular occasion I saw my eldest nephew for the day last Friday. The aftermath has seen me incredibly frail and unwell but what a lovely thing to have brought this on.
A lot of my friends don’t get the ‘balance’ of that loveliness. The level of illness and suffering they experience as standard is what I get during Post Exertional Malaise.
'M.E. myself and I' by Anna Redshaw 