'M.E. myself and I' by Anna Redshaw

Content warning: childlessness, pregnancy, menstruation, contraception, hysterectomy

I’d known long before the discovery that my uterus was faulty, that I wouldn’t be having children.

The impact of M.E. on all corners and all aspects of my life made the ‘decision’ for me. I’ve spoken about this, The Baby Thing, a fair bit before.

An adenomyosis diagnosis in 2021 made no difference to our already childless future, other than that it further depleted what little function I had. The pain and contractions are something that I cannot put into words.

I’ve always had “bad periods” (I’m yet to meet someone who doesn’t). In my 30s though, things became more extreme than I ever imagined they could. I’m not sure you need too many details, but for an already below-par body to be losing *that* much blood for (on average) 20 days (you read that right) at a time wasn’t ideal.

My uterus causes me great issues, something I see as an unnecessary experience as someone who will never grow a human being. I voted we whip this problematic, obsolete organ out of me!

But my gynaecologist refused me a hysterectomy on the grounds of how unwell I was (at the start of 2022) with M.E.

The only alternative was to see if a mirena coil would provide any relief. I had never, ever, ever wanted one. But to show that I was willing to try anything to get some relief, & knowing I simply couldn’t live as I had been for the last few years, I had it put in there and then. Fitted in February 2022, it took over a year for the pain of having a foreign object in my already inflamed uterus to subside. But the bleeding is now much, much improved! I also have a ‘normal’ menstrual cycle rather than the absolute nonsense of a cycle that I had before (I was on the progesterone only pill which *can* stop one’s periods but didn’t for me).

Almost 18 months in though and here I am, a little delirious & lightheaded from heightened pain & discomfort, waiting to be seen by the Emergency Gynaecology team. It takes a lot for me to expose myself to medical professionals. But something is Off and after spending Friday trying to see a Doctor, I was told me to come in today.

Will report back soon.