If, like I sometimes do, you wish your partner/parent had better than your illhealth allows, please remember that the person who deserves better most is, in fact, you.
The impact of my health on others is so far-reaching that I sometimes forget that it is me who is impacted most.
He’s been going solo to a few social things for a good while now. And that makes me feel sad for him. It makes me feel guilty that his wife isn’t the wife he deserves. (I can be quite dramatic – the wife he deserves?! Is he loved and supported and cared for in the ways I can do those things? YES.)
My parents have missed weddings and parties and get-togethers so often over the years. And the sadness and guilt that I have felt over that (exacerbated of course by that GP’s comments in 2011 about how if I couldn’t bring myself to get better for myself, then I must do it for my parents “so they can get their lives back”) has stuck around far longer than it needed to.
But then Mr Tree Surgeon (my husband, incase you’re new here) pointed out that actually the person it’s most sad for is me. Yeah. I guess it is. I forgot about that bit.
Let’s stop putting ourselves at the bottom of the pile with these things.
'M.E. myself and I' by Anna Redshaw 