There was a time not so long ago when I felt like I was failing in my awareness efforts.
Despite years of blogging and sharing online, some of the keys points I thought I’d been making weren’t sinking in.
The fact is, few of the people that I started my blog for read it now*. Life goes on, it gets busier and it changes. Some feel they have nothing new to learn. They get it, I’m ill. For most, it upsets them to be faced with my reality. They have the Old Anna to compare this current and ‘new’ version with.
They tell me they find it miserable and draining to read my blog posts. I’ve been told that perhaps if I shared more of the positives, the days I DO go out, more guinea pig content, things I HAVE achieved, that they might read it more. I thought I was sharing those things…
I am simply sharing my life with M.E. I don’t pretend it’s any better or any worse that it actually is.
While I see hope and resilience, they see only sadness and negativity. What I see as realistic, they see as pessimistic. I see my blog and my social media pages as a celebration of who I truly am, now.
M.E. has changed me, or at least brought out and highlighted what are now my favourite bits of myself. Not everyone can see that. They see only sadness at me having to live a life so different from theirs. They can only watch and wonder how someone can possibly be happy in a life dominated by illness. I’m not sure how often I have to tell people that my life is good, if a tad hard, but they’re still not convinced.
I don’t write or share for recognition. I do it because I want to and I can and it helps me.
And then there’s you. Those right here. Oh you! I appreciate you and I feel your appreciation in return.
For my awareness raising efforts to be noticed, acknowledged and appreciated means a lot to me. I recently found out that I’ve been nominated for two WEGO Health Awards; one as a Patient Leader and one for Best in Show: Instagram. You can see my Profile here.
I consider myself to be small fry, as they say. My Instagram feed is not some beautifully curated, well planned out, scheduled content creation. I want it to be real and I want it to be me and I want it to be relatable and digestible. Not too fluffy but not too gloomy either. Just real.
There are so many people within this community doing fabulous work, and with such a precious and limited supply of energy and usable hours. I consider them to do far more I do. I am not able to keep up with or digest the latest research studies or articles that are published about our health condition.
And yet I have been nominated. Twice.
The internet is such a big place and yet you’ve found me here and you’ve stayed with me. So many people still share my words with their loved ones when they feel unable to express a certain point. It is quite simply the greatest honour to lend my voice to those unable to use their own for whatever reason. Every message and comment I receive from you all is treasured and savoured.
You have made a really rather poorly person feel giddy with joy that you think I’m worthy of such an accolade.
I am so grateful. Thank you all for being here with me.
*There is no anger here. Perhaps a little disappointment, but it’s not intended as a dig at anyone.