“But I thought you said you were getting better?”

I wouldn’t blame you for asking me that on a day like today.

Every bodily system seems to be suffering today. I can’t digest food properly. I can’t see properly. My heart isn’t quite right. The paralysis is being a pain. My lungs can’t seem to take in enough oxygen. Gravity feels too heavy. The nausea is bad. The muscle weakness is off the scale. I’m dizzy. Really dizzy. If you asked me how I was my response would simply be “Urgh.”
It is no wonder that people get confused then when I talk about myself as ‘in recovery’ or ‘making progress’. I often wonder if recovery from an incurable chronic illness is more a state of mind than anything else…
This is a bad day. But a few years ago a day like this would have been celebrated and classed as a good day. I have (finally) made it out of bed. I have sat on the back step at Mr Tree Surgeon’s bungalow and felt the sun on my face.
I managed to wash my own face with a face wipe and make myself a cup of coffee! Bad days used to mean being spoon fed by Not-so-big Sis.
We must keep looking at the bigger picture and remember that my progress cannot be measured day by day or week by week, but rather year by year.

I suffer to some degree every single day but today is a tougher one. Here’s to a better tomorrow. I am still getting better.

Published by Anna Redshaw

Blogging about life in the slow lane with an invisible, chronic illness. I wasn't always a sick chick so this is somewhat of a life changing experience!

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