Blowing the cobwebs away

I try to get fresh air everyday, just to try to blow the cobwebs away. I’m not sure it does the trick but there’s nothing better than few breaths of fresh air after yet another day of being imprisoned inside. Next time you go outside just try to appreciate how wonderful it is. 
My mum (aka Wonder Woman/my right hand woman/my carer…) makes sure I at least have my bedroom window open for a few minutes or stand/sit by the back door for a little bit. Rain or shine I’m to shuffle out, if I can, and get a blast of fresh air.
It has been absolutely pouring with rain for the last couple of days but still I followed my instructions, wrapped up in waterproofs and stood outside for a few seconds. 
We had glorious sunshine earlier in the week and I managed an hour sitting outside. I was also well enough to listen to some music. I’ve been in quite a bit of pain this week, particularly in my knees and left ankle, so it was nice to have an escape for a little bit. 
Being able to tolerate music today was wonderful! I was listening to my iPod and rediscovering some hidden gems. Music is a wonderful tool. It can relax you, get your adrenaline pumping (which is not a good idea for me as an ME sufferer; it’s like poison), bring back the happiest of memories, allow you to get lost and escape…

I came across my old running/gym/workout playlist and got to wondering. Will I ever run again? If I had to run for my life right now I couldn’t do it. That’s a strange thing to think about. Will I ever dance? Dance like I used to; as if no one is watching? I used to have quite good rhythm (well I think so!) but I’m too slow to move in time with the music now. (The muscle twitches in my legs do resemble something of a jig though…)
I am optimistic about my recovery. I hope to one day be able to go for walks and not have to be confined to a wheelchair for outings, but will I ever run? Will I be too cautious and too scared of relapse to actually do it? 
Just innocent wonderings…

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