What a difference a day makes

One photo was taken yesterday. The other was taken just now.

I am not tired after yesterday, but poorly. Post exertional malaise or something like that. My batteries are almost completely flat. I can make it to the toilet by myself, and I can hopefully feed myself too. Makes a huge difference from the person I was yesterday who could drive a car and appear to fit in with the rest of the world. Weird isn’t it?! It must be hard to understand but I didn’t overdo it yesterday. I lived within my means. Being in bed today is not my fault, I didn’t push myself to do too much, intact I was very sensible. This is just how it is. This is why life with this condition can be so frustrating and soul destroying.

Today I am weak and frail. This doesn’t feel alien to me anymore. To feel this poorly is normal. I am in bed and can’t sit up because of the nausea and dizziness, and the exertion and strength that sitting up requires. I’m not sad. It’s par for the course when you have this condition. One step forward, sixteen steps back. I count my blessings though, I am still in my bedroom and not having to move back into the dining room…

There might be a few days like this. I will try to meet most of my baseline targets (my stretches, having purple time, getting some fresh air by sticking my head out of the window…) It’s important that my baseline targets are appropriate and not too challenging so that they can be met on days such a this, as well as the better days. If I couldn’t meet them, they wouldn’t be baseline targets and I would be at risk of entering the boom and bust cycle, of activity than complete rest, activity than complete rest.

I’m still on track, I’m still ‘recovering’ so don’t worry that this week won’t be as ‘good’ as last week for me. It’s okay. It’s my normal. I’m just posting this to give you the whole picture. I’m okay, just not physically…