Naughty me

I haven’t felt this dizzy in a very long time. I feel incredibly drunk and my vision is worse than its been for a while. Everything is spinning and my head is lolling about because my neck isn’t strong enough to keep it up. I am in intense pain in my left shoulder. But mostly I just feel very, very dizzy and unsteady on my feet. I haven’t fallen over…yet haha!

I have had a day of mostly just purple time but still my symptoms are kicking my ***! My busy week is taking its toll despite being careful over the last few days. I’ve stayed in bed this afternoon in the hope that giving in and letting my brain and body win will alleviate the symptoms. I’ve not focused on my symptoms or let my mind panic about how poorly am I; that usually just makes everything worse. I have not let myself think about this evening. Instead I have taken each minute and hour as it comes. I have done everything ‘right’ but still the stupid M.E is winning.

Tonight, though, I am being naughty. I am never naughty. I have always been the sensible one but for one night, and one night only, I am ignoring the screams from my body to stay in bed.

I have had a birthday meal planned for tonight for months and, whether my brain and body like it, we are going! Wish me luck!