Bed days

Involuntary muscle twitches. Check. Dizziness. Check. Nausea. Check. Fatigue. Check. Feeling faint. Check. Painful and paralysed legs. Check. Brain fog. Check. Headache. Check. Abdominal pain. Check…

Today is looking like a bed day. It can’t be helped. It’s probably the best place for me. On bed days my ever-present symptoms are worse than they usually are and I feel too poorly to be anywhere other than here. At least I’m warm and cosy hey?! And I am able to use my laptop in short stints. Every cloud…

Wales are playing Argentina today but I’m not able to watch. I don’t often manage to watch sport anymore. The combination of noise, moving pictures of the TV screen and adrenaline is too much for me to cope with apparently. I had to leave the room and take myself back to bed. Family members pop up to check on me every now and then but I mostly need to be alone. On bed days I just have to go with it; to lie here and wait until it’s nighttime and I can, hopefully, go to sleep. When I’m asleep it all goes away. I don’t tend to get bored. I feel too poorly. Usually I don’t do anything other than lie here. It is lovely when I’m well enough to use my laptop like I am now. 

Tomorrow I am seeing a couple of friends from university. Fingers crossed. I’m hoping that if I’m nice to my brain and body today, they will be on their best behaviour tomorrow…

I confess to still, after two years, getting a bit scared on days like today. It isn’t nice to feel so poorly. You’d think I was used to it by now. I would love just one day off from all of this. Funnily enough I take all of this as a good sign that I feel this way. In the beginning, and only 12 months ago, I was too poorly to really notice how ill I was. Now, with the brain fog much improved, I am more aware of my situation. 

I hope to manage to watch a DVD later. Something simple like Toy Story. Staring at the same four walls just isn’t as much fun as watching Woody and Buzz. I think a shower is off the cards today. It just isn’t wise to push my body on days like this. 

On a more cheery note, this week marks an anniversary for me! It is one year since I moved back upstairs to my bedroom after having to sleep in the dining room when I was too poorly to get upstairs. Three cheers for me! I hope I never have to live down there again but I know it is out of my hands. What will be, will be.

I am one of the lucky ones. Not everyday is a bed day for me anymore.

“Just because today is a terrible day doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be the best day of your life…You just have to get there.” Unknown