Involuntary muscle twitches. Check. Dizziness. Check. Nausea. Check. Fatigue. Check. Feeling faint. Check. Painful and paralysed legs. Check. Brain fog. Check. Headache. Check. Abdominal pain. Check…
Today is looking like a bed day. It can’t be helped. It’s probably the best place for me. On bed days my ever-present symptoms are worse than they usually are and I feel too poorly to be anywhere other than here. At least I’m warm and cosy hey?! And I am able to use my laptop in short stints. Every cloud…
Wales are playing Argentina today but I’m not able to watch. I don’t often manage to watch sport anymore. The combination of noise, moving pictures of the TV screen and adrenaline is too much for me to cope with apparently. I had to leave the room and take myself back to bed. Family members pop up to check on me every now and then but I mostly need to be alone. On bed days I just have to go with it; to lie here and wait until it’s nighttime and I can, hopefully, go to sleep. When I’m asleep it all goes away. I don’t tend to get bored. I feel too poorly. Usually I don’t do anything other than lie here. It is lovely when I’m well enough to use my laptop like I am now.
Tomorrow I am seeing a couple of friends from university. Fingers crossed. I’m hoping that if I’m nice to my brain and body today, they will be on their best behaviour tomorrow…
I confess to still, after two years, getting a bit scared on days like today. It isn’t nice to feel so poorly. You’d think I was used to it by now. I would love just one day off from all of this. Funnily enough I take all of this as a good sign that I feel this way. In the beginning, and only 12 months ago, I was too poorly to really notice how ill I was. Now, with the brain fog much improved, I am more aware of my situation.
I hope to manage to watch a DVD later. Something simple like Toy Story. Staring at the same four walls just isn’t as much fun as watching Woody and Buzz. I think a shower is off the cards today. It just isn’t wise to push my body on days like this.
On a more cheery note, this week marks an anniversary for me! It is one year since I moved back upstairs to my bedroom after having to sleep in the dining room when I was too poorly to get upstairs. Three cheers for me! I hope I never have to live down there again but I know it is out of my hands. What will be, will be.
I am one of the lucky ones. Not everyday is a bed day for me anymore.
“Just because today is a terrible day doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be the best day of your life…You just have to get there.” Unknown
