This post was written last year after a follower asked for some advice. They needed some help explaining to those around them that receiving care from certain people was easier, and more comfortable, than receiving care from others.
There’s a story highlight on my Instagram page on this topic for anyone who missed it.
On ‘Safe People’
There is so much out of my control that I feel I am entitled to decide who it is I am most comfortable with when it comes to receiving help.
I do not have to accept help from people I am not as comfortable with.
Being this ill puts me in a very vulnerable situation. I am already way out of my comfort zone in needing any kind of help. And so, if I makes me more comfortable to only have help from certain people, I think that’s perfectly okay.
My needs should come above your want to feel needed by me.
When I have so much to contend with because of my symptoms, I think it’s understandable that I would choose the option that feels easiest (ie. My ‘Safe People’.)
Stop trying to guilt trip me for not feeling comfortable. I am doing really, bloody well in the grand scheme of things. And if that doesn’t quite stretch to letting certain individuals see me at my most vulnerable than I think that’s perfectly okay.
Disclaimer: I am aware that I am lucky to have any help available to me at all and having options in who helps me makes me even luckier. Some people have choice over the help they receive, if they even receive any at all. But, as ever, I have no desire to play Chronic Illness Top Trumps with anyone. Our situations can be different and still hard.