I think it’s really important (or perhaps the responsible thing to do) to differentiate between being in bed because that’s what’s best for my body, and being in bed because my body cannot physically leave it*.
I try to be quite literal in my writing but as no two of us experience the same thing, or mean the same thing when we use the same terminology, there’s room for interpretation.
The relapse remains, but November has brought with it a return to that element (or perhaps illusion) of choice.
I now have the choice of getting out of bed. My body still needs bed rest and I feel too unwell to be anywhere but in bed, but I CAN physically leave my bed, slowly get down the stairs, and lay on the sofa.
I can’t be out of bed for long and I don’t feel well enough to be doing anything but laying on the sofa but the choice is there.
While the ability to get out of bed is there again, it isn’t something I should necessarily be doing very often.
I shouldn’t, but I can. So I want to!
This is where it gets frustrating. I have to consciously make the sensible choice. Boring? Perhaps. Necessary? Yes. This is how I have to live my life.
I’m saying this because there are many people with M.E. who do not have this ‘luxury’. They cannot leave their beds at all. It would be wrong to pretend my life is the same as theirs.
*With help I can get to the toilet.