This week I had a follow up appointment with my endocrinologist. I was referred recently by my Wonder GP after I went to seek answers and advice about what can only be described as a ridiculously OTT reaction to anything that makes me jump.

Just having Me Tree Surgeon walk into the kitchen when I hadn’t heard him coming is even to send my body into complete shock. The adrenal release (or whatever the hell it is!) is so severe that I can physically feel my nerve endings prickle across my body. If the doorbell goes and I’m in a completely relaxed state, the same happens. In films if something makes me jump, it takes my breath away. It has become incredibly debilitating.

Anyway, I digress. I will revisit the topic in a later post to fill anyone in who’s interested in the tests I’m having done.

While Mr Tree Surgeon and I were sat in the waiting room something occurred to me. I was in the midst of a payback day. For M.E. sufferers, for every action there is a reaction and after a big day of socialising two days before I was really poorly due to the Post Exertional Malaise. I felt I could vomit at any moment, my feet may well have been breeze-blocks they felt so heavy. I was in pain, I was dizzy, my vision was more blurred and out of focus than usual. The fatigue was…intense. And so on and so forth.

But while I sat there, in that oversized hospital wheelchair because I could barely walk a metre a minute, I realised that I used to feel like this on a GOOD day; on the very best day. I felt wretched but I used to feel that bad every single day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am still very ill every day. Unimaginably so to the majority of you. But there has been an absolutely incredible amount of progress.

The realisation turned what felt like a dreadfully hard day into a wonderful one. I have come so far. So, so far. I feel incredibly lucky for that.

Published by Anna Redshaw

Blogging about life in the slow lane with an invisible, chronic illness. I wasn't always a sick chick so this is somewhat of a life changing experience!

5 thoughts on “Progress

  1. I’d definitely be interested in what tests you’re having done, this sounds exactly like me! My cardio is considering referring me so fingers crossed! xx


  2. Not uncommon in PWME – I and several others I know have that triggered by adrenalin effect, so it’ll be interesting to see if your endocrinologist comes up with anything.
    Wishing you many spoons to get through becoming Mrs Tree Surgeon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too, Chris.
      I also see this as adrenaline from the sympathetic nervous system doing its job, but coming up with usually an unnecessary and exaggerated startle response. In myself, this scenario comes and goes. My doctor suggested calming things with a few deep relaxing abdominal breaths and I have followed this advice for years to help turn on the parasympathetic (rest and digest) response. Yes, I too wonder what the endocrinologist will say.

      So it is “Happy wedding Day” very soon!
      I look forward to seeing some photos in a future blog! I send my very best wishes to you and Mr. Tree Surgeon from a fellow PWME. As a mom, I also send greetings out to your mom and family. I am picturing hats, lots of beautiful hats; it’s an English wedding after all. 💝
      Spoon wishes … across the pond from my spot in Canada!
      K. Harris

      Liked by 1 person

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